A woman was sitting at a bar enjoying an after-work cocktail with her girlfriends when an exceptionally tall, handsome, extremely sexy young man entered.
He was so striking that the woman could not take her eyes away from him.
The young man noticed her overly attentive stare & walked directly toward her.
Before she could offer her apologies for being so rude for staring, the young man said to her, ‘I’ll do anything, absolutely anything, that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for $100, on one condition.’
Flabbergasted, the woman asked what the condition was.
The young man replied, ‘You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words.’
The woman considered his proposition for a moment, withdrew from her purse and slowly counted out five $20 bills, which she pressed into the young man’s hand along with her address.
She looked deeply into his eyes & slowly, meaningfully said, “Clean my house.”
“Honey,” said this husband to his wife, “I invited a mate home for dinner.”
“What? Are you crazy?
The house is a mess, I didn’t go shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don’t feel like cooking a fancy meal!”
“I know all that.”
“Then, why did you invite a friend for supper?”
“Because the poor bastard is thinking about getting married.”
Sheila wants an all over suntan but is not quite sure how to ho about it so she says to Bruce;
You reckon I should go sunbathing in the nude in the backyard?
“Yeah, no worries”, says Bruce, “go for it.”
“But what if the neighbors see me naked, what will they think?” Sheila asked
Bruce; “that I married you for your money…..”
I was sitting watching Match of the Day when the Wife came into the lounge and says:
“Fancy a shag Babe?”
I said, “After the football love”
She said, “You do realise that you can record it?”
I said, “Nice, you get the camcorder, I’ll come upstairs when the footy finishes”.