Daily Joke – The Sniffer Dog……..

A man settled into his seat next to the window on the plane when another man sat down in the aisle seat and put his black Labrador Retriever between them in the middle seat.

The first man looked very quizzically at the dog and asked why the dog was allowed on  the plane.

The second man explained that he was from the Police Drugs Enforcement Agency and that the dog was a ‘sniffing  dog’.

‘His name is Sniffer and he’s the best there is. I’ll show you once we get airborne when I put him to work.’

The plane took off and, once it had leveled out, the Policeman said ‘Watch this.’
 
He told Sniffer to ‘search’.
 
Sniffer  jumped down, walked along the aisle, and finally sat very purposefully next to a woman for several seconds. Sniffer then returned to his seat and put one paw on the policeman’s arm.

The Policeman said ‘Good boy’ and he turned to the man and said ‘That woman is in possession of marijuana. I’m making a note of her seat number and the authorities will apprehend her when we land.

‘Gee, that’s  pretty good,’ replied the first man.

Once again, the Policeman sent Sniffer to search the aisles.

The dog sniffed about, sat down beside a man for a few seconds, returned to its seat and this time he placed two paws on the agent’s arm.


The Policeman said, ‘That man is carrying cocaine, so again, I’m making a note of his seat number for the police.’

‘I like it!’ said his seat mate.

The  Policeman then told Sniffer to ‘search’ again.

Sniffer walked up  and down the aisles for a little while, sat down for a moment, and then came racing back to the agent, jumped into the middle seat and proceeded to shit all over the place.

The first man was really disgusted by this behavior and couldn’t figure out how or why a well-trained dog would behave like that, so he asked the Policeman, ‘What’s going on  ?’

The Policeman nervously replied, ‘He’s just found a bomb.’

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Over five thousand years ago, Moses said to the children….

Joke Of The Day…..Stolen Fruit…..

Mary was taken before the judge accused of theft, and he asked her, ‘What did you steal?’

‘A small can of peaches,’ Mary replied, weeping.

The judge then asked her why she had stolen the peaches, and she replied that she was hungry.

The judge then inquired, ‘And how many peaches were in the can?’

 
Mary answered, ‘Only 6 small pieces.’

The judge harshly announced, ‘Then I will give you 6 days in jail.’

But before the judge could finish pronouncing the punishment, the woman’s husband, Derek, interrupted and asked the judge if he could say something?

The judge, slightly annoyed asked, ‘And what have you to say in your wife’s defence?’

Derek spoke clearly, ‘She also stole a large can of peas.’

Joke Of The Day – Robot For Sale…..


A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie.

He decides to test it out at dinner one night.

The father asks his son what he did that afternoon.

The son says, “I did some schoolwork.”

The robot slaps the son.

The son says, “Ok, Ok. I was at a friend’s house watching movies.”

Dad asks, “What movie did you watch?”

Son says, “Toy Story.”

The robot slaps the son.

Son says, “Ok, Ok, we were watching porn.”

Dad says,”What? At your age I didn’t even know what porn was.”

The robot slaps the father.

Mom laughs and says,”Well, he certainly is your son.”

The robot slaps the mother.

Robot for sale.

A Great Joke – The Black Bra ….

The Black Bra (as told by a woman)

 I had lunch with 2 of my unmarried friends.

One is engaged, one is a mistress, and I have been married for 20+ years.

 We were chatting about our relationships and decided to amaze our men by greeting them at the door wearing a black bra, stiletto heels and a mask over our eyes. We agreed to meet in a few days to exchange notes.

 Here’s how it all went.

 My engaged friend:

The other night when my boyfriend came over he found me with a black leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask. He saw me and said, ‘You are the woman of my dreams…I love you.’ Then we made passionate love all night long.

 The mistress:

Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was wearing a raincoat, under it only the black bra, heels and mask over my eyes.

When I opened the raincoat he didn’t say a word, but he started to tremble and we had wild sex all night.

Then I had to share my story:

When my husband came home I was wearing the black bra, black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes. When he came in the door and saw me he said,

(you are going to love this..)

 ” What’s for dinner, Zorro?”

Joke of The Day – A young doctor had moved out to a small community to….

A young doctor had moved out to a small community to replace a doctor who was retiring.

The older doctor suggested that the young one accompany him on his rounds, so the community could
become used to a new doctor.

At the first house a woman complains, “I’ve been a little sick to my stomach.”

The older doctor says, “Well, you’ve probably been overdoing the fresh fruit.

Why not cut back on the amount you’ve been eating and see if that does the trick?”

As they left, the younger man said, “You didn’t even examine that woman?

How’d you come to the diagnosis so quickly?”

“I didn’t have to. You noticed I dropped my stethoscope on the floor in there? When I bent over to pick it up,

I noticed a half dozen banana peels in the trash. That was what probably was making her sick.”

“Huh,” the younger doctor said. “Pretty clever. If you don’t mind, I think I’ll try that at the next house.”

Arriving at the next house, they spent several minutes talking with a younger woman.

She said that she just didn’t have the energy she once did and said, “I’m feeling terribly run down lately.”

“You’ve probably been doing too much work for the Church,” the younger doctor told her.

“Perhaps you should cut back a bit and see if that helps.”

As they left, the elder doctor said, “I know that woman well. Your diagnosis is almost certainly correct,
but how did you arrive at it?”

“I did what you did at the last house.I dropped my stethoscope and when I bent down to retrieve it,

I noticed the vicar under the bed.” 

Joke Of The Day – An old Texan, Younger Girl and a Diamond Ring….

A balding, white haired man from Bellville, Texas, walked into a jewelry store in a local mall this past Friday evening with a beautiful much younger gal at his side.

He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend. The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring

. The man said, ‘No, I’d like to see something more special.’ At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought another ring over. ‘Here’s a stunning ring at only $40,000’ the jeweler said. The lady’s eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement

. The old man seeing this said, ‘We’ll take it.’ The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the man stated, ‘by check. I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I’ll write it now and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds and I’ll pick up the ring Monday afternoon.

‘ On Monday morning, the jeweler angrily phoned the old man and said ‘There’s only $25 in that account.’ ‘I know, said the old man,

‘But let me tell you about MY GREAT WEEKEND!’

See… Not All Seniors Are Senile.

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