Who said old people lose their quick wit….

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Tenth Husband: A young man married a beautiful woman who had previouslydivorced ten husbands….

A young man married a beautiful woman who had previously divorced ten husbands. 

On their wedding night, she told her new husband, “Please be gentle, I’m still a virgin”. “What?” Said the puzzled groom

 “How can that be if you’ve been married ten times?

Well:

  • Husband #1 was a Sales Representative; he kept telling me how great it’s going to be.

  • Husband #2 was in Software Services; he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he’d look into it and get back to me.
  • Husband #3 was from Field Services; he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn’t get the system up.
  • Husband #4 was in Telemarketing; even though he knew he had the order, he didn’t know when he would be able to deliver.
  • Husband #5 was an Engineer; he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.
  • Husband #6 was in a Union; he thought he knew how, but he wasn’t sure whether it was his job or not.
  • Husband #7 was in Marketing; although he had a product, he was never sure how to position it.
  • Husband #8 was a psychiatrist; all he ever did was talk about it.
  • Husband #9 was a gynecologist; all he did was look at it.
  • Husband #10 was a stamp collector; all he ever did was. . . God I miss him!

But now that I’ve married you, I’m so excited!”

“Good,” said the husband, “but, why?”

“You’re a Tax Man .  . this time I KNOW I’m going to get screwed!”

You can not say NO to this Divorce Offer –

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Hey, did you ever notice that your pin cushion looks exactly like….

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Joke of The Day – The Wife’s Affair….

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A man returns home a day early from a business trip. It’s after midnight.

While en route home, he asks the cabby if he would be a witness.

The man suspects his wife is having an affair, and he wants to catch Her in the act.

For £100, the cabby agrees.

Quietly arriving home, the husband and cabby tip toe into the bedroom.

The husband switches on the lights, yanks the blanket back and there is his wife in bed with another man!

The husband puts a gun to the naked man’s head.

The wife shouts, ‘Don’t do it! I lied when I told you I inherited money’

HE paid for the Porsche I gave you.
HE paid for our new cabin cruiser.
HE paid for your Chelsea season tickets.
HE paid for our house at the lake.
HE paid for your African tour and 4 x 4.
HE paid for our country club membership, and HE even pays the monthly dues!’

Shaking his head from side-to-side, the husband lowers the gun.

He looks over at the cabby and says, ‘What would you do?

The cabby replies, ‘I’d cover him with that blanket before he catches a cold.’

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