Is your lemonade made with real lemons……

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Little Dictator Costume for…..

Joke Of The Day… "Learn To Swear"

Learn to swear

A 7-year-old and a 4-year-old are upstairs in their bedroom.

‘You know what?’ says the 7-year-old, ‘I think it’s about time we started Swearing.’

The 4-year-old nodshis head in approval, so the 7-year-old says,

When we go downstairs for breakfast I’m going to swear first, then you swear after Me, ok?’

‘Ok’ the 4-year-old, agrees with enthusiasm..

The mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 7-year-old what he wants for Breakfast.

‘Oh, shit mum, I don’t know, I suppose I’ll have some Coco Pops’

WHACK!! He flew out of his chair, tumbled across the kitchen floor, got up,

And ran upstairs crying his eyes out.

She looked at the 4-year-old and asked with a stern voice, ‘ And what do YOU
Want for breakfast, young man?’

‘I don’t know,’ he blubbers, ‘but it won’t be f**king Coco Pops’

Teen & Y Generation 10 Commandments….. Oh Dear!!!

1. Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping.
(why wait that long)

2. Thou shall not do drugs.
(alcohol lasts longer, not to mention being cheaper.)

3. Thou shall not steal from K-Mart.
(Wal-Mart has a bigger selection)

4. Thou shall not be arrested for vandalism.
(destruction has a bigger effect, I can tell you all about this)

5. Thou shall not steal from your parents.
(everyone knows grandma has more money)

6. Thou shall not get into fights.
(Cat fight anyhow…just start them.)

7. Thou shall not skip class.
(just take the whole day off)

8. Thou shall not wear revealing clothes in class.
( Hooters pays more)

9. Thou shall not think about having sex.
(like Nike says, “just do it”)

10. Thou shall not help old ladies across the street.
(just leave ’em in the middle)

What Is Sex………

A little boy returning home from his first day at school said to his mother,’ ‘Mum, what’s sex?”

His mother, who believed in all the most modern educational theories, gave him a detailed explanation, covering all aspects of the tricky subject.

When she had finished, the little lad produced an enrollment form which he had brought home from school and said,’

‘Yes, but how am I going to get all that into this one little square?”

A Mother’s Driver’s License – too cute and clever not post!

Mother’s Driver’s  License – too  cute not to  forward

A  mother is driving her  little girl to her  friend’s house for a play  date.

‘  Mommy ,’ the little girl asks,  ‘how old  are you?’

‘Honey, you are not   supposed to ask a lady her age,’ the  mother  replied.
‘It’s not  polite.’

‘OK’,  the little girl  says,
‘How much do you   weigh?’

‘Now really,’ the mother  says,
‘those  are personal questions and are really  none  of your business.’

Undaunted, the   little girl asks, ‘Why did you and Daddy get  a  divorce?’

‘That’s enough  questions,  young lady!  Honestly!’

The exasperated  mother  walks away as the two friends begin to   play.

‘ My Mom won’t tell me  anything  about her,’ the little girl says  to her friend.

‘Well,’  says the friend,
‘all you  need to do is  look at her driver’s license.
It’s  like a report card, it has everything  on  it.’

Later that night the little  girl  says to her mother,
‘I know how  old you are.  You are 32.’

The  mother is surprised and  asks,
‘How did  you find that out?

‘I  also know  that you weigh 130 pounds.’

The  mother is past surprised and shocked   now.
‘How in Heaven’s name did you find  that  out?’

‘And,’ the little girl  says  triumphantly,
‘I know why you  and  daddy got a divorce.’

‘Oh  really?’ the mother  asks.  ‘Why?’

‘Because  you  got an F in sex.’

If  you  see someone without a smile today

Give  them  one of yours

The difference between what a Father, Child and Mothers see…..

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