Clean Joke Of The Day…A guy was driving when a policeman pulled himover

A guy was driving when a policeman pulled him over. He rolled down his window and said to the officer, 

“Is there a problem, Officer?” 

“No problem at all. I just observed your safe driving and am pleased to award you a $5,000 Safe Driver Award.

Congratulations. What do you think you’re going to do with the money?” 

The driver thought for a minute and said, “Well, I guess I’ll go get that drivers’ license.”

The lady sitting in the passenger seat said to the policeman, “Oh, don’t pay attention to him – he’s a smart arse when he’s drunk and stoned.”

The guy from the back seat said, “I TOLD you guys we wouldn’t get far in a stolen car!” 

At that moment, there was a knock from the trunk and a muffled voice said, “Are we over the border yet?”

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The Blonde Bet…..

Tom, a handsome dude, walked into a sports bar around 9:58 PM.

He sat down next to a blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV. The 10:00 PM news was coming on.

The news crew was covering a story of a man on a ledge of a large building preparing to jump.

The blonde looked at Tom and said, “Do you think he’ll jump?”

Tom says, “You know, I bet he’ll jump.”

The blonde replied, “Well, I bet he won’t.”

Tom placed a $20 bill on the bar and said, “You’re on!”

Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy on the ledge did a swan dive off the building, falling to his death.

The blonde was very upset, but willingly handed her $20 to Tom saying, “Fair’s fair. Here’s your money.”

Tom replied, “I can’t take your money, I saw this earlier on the 5 PM news and so I knew he would jump.”

The blond replied, “I did too; but I didn’t think he’d do it again.”

Tom took the money…..

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