Fighting for peace is like….Screwing for virginity..
They had their sperm mixed together and a surrogate mother was artificially inseminated.
When the baby was born Elton and David were ushered into a ward where a dozen babies were lying in their cots, eleven of them crying and screaming.
In the corner, one baby was lying serenely. A nurse came over to both of them and indicated that the happy child was theirs.
“Isn’t it wonderful?” Elton asked David. “All these crying babies…and yet our baby is so content. This just proves the superiority of gay love!
“The nurse said, “Oh sure, he’s happy now, but just watch what happens when I pull the dummy out of his arse….”
A woman’s husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day.
One day when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.
As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears: ‘You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times.
When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there.
When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here.
When my health started failing, you were still by my side…
You know what Martha? ‘What dear?’ she gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.
‘I’m beginning to think you’re f**king bad luck…’